excuse

E Is For Excuse #DecodingMidlife

The definition of excuse(noun) means ‘A reason or explanation given to justify a mistake or offence’.

‘Making Excuses is a bad habit.’ I keep repeating this to my daughter as a gospel that needs to be imbibed in her life.

But today I am facing a dilemma. Will I always practice what I preach to my daughter?  I do agree at some level that one makes excuses to avoid responsibility. As I approach midlife, my responsibilities will also rise. My family will need me more. My parents will age so I will have more responsibilities. I am a bit apprehensive about dealing with such situations in my life. I will also have work commitments and I would also want to give priority to my career.

I will have to find the right work-life balance. Being a freelancer and a work from home mom has its own challenges as well.

Though I want to make positive goals for midlife, its only natural that sometimes I feel the burden of these responsibilities.

I keep doubting myself whether I will make excuses when I fail to adhere those responsibilities. Will that make me a bad daughter or a mother?

There will be days when I do not want to do something for the family. Am I doing a wrong thing if I do make an excuse to get out of it? Or telling the truth that I need this day to myself be just expressing my desire and will not account for making an excuse? Does it mean that I am selfish?

What do you feel? Today I am looking for answers. Do share your views.

John Travolta’s quote does give me some respite but I still look for more answers.

 ‘Your life starts to take shape at 30. You don’t have to make excuses for who you are anymore.’

36 comments

  1. Excuses yes we make excuses at times when the expectations are much higher from realities. keeping higher goals are good, but channelize POA to achieve those goals are also important.
    Lovely post Aesha, and hits the chord at the right place.

  2. Before a mother, we are a human too, and a prone to procrastination and making excuses for it. I guess we should be allowed some respite and allowed not to feel guilty about general human tendencies. But like you, i feel guilty too when some days I find myself shirking off my responsibilities.

  3. Taking some time off for self is but at all an excuse, neither should one be guilty about it. But we ladies are wired differently so the dilemma arises.

  4. I see a lot of myself in this post. Like you I am also trying to find answers. If I take out time for myself then it should not be treated as an excuse, but still it would make me feel guilty. Tough choices to make!

  5. Excuses are a way of shrugging off our responsibilities or just finding a reason of not doing something. But excuses cannot help us in the long run. A s a mom, you have to set an example for your child. Its ok to make excuses sometimes but when they see you doing things and actively participating they learn a lesson too.

    • True that.. so I would I guess rather just tell the truth if I do not wish to do something at a particular time. I think if we do it repeatedly than it’s definitely not a good example for our children. Thanks for your genuine feedback Deepa!

  6. Ah, excuses. One way not to be accountable or to take action. I’m working on that now. As soon as I’ve had this extra cup f tea. Need refreshments so I can work better…good post

  7. You don’t need any excuses to take time for yourself. As we have to juggle more and more in life, I understand that we often feel a need to make excuses when we say no to adding more to our plate but I think just being direct can work too. Not that I’ve always followed this rule. Sometimes we all fall back on excuses.
    Weekends In Maine

    • Thanks for visiting my blog and sharing your thoughts. I know we always feel guilty after giving an excuse. But I think you are right it’s better to be direct

  8. I agree with Akshata. We only need to not make excuses to ourself. Women often tend to over extend themselves in the service of others. We need to learn to set boundaries and say no. But failing that making excuses to put ourselves first sometimes is not really a bad thing.

  9. right now i am trying not to find excuses to not meet the a to z challenge 😉 and this post has been motivating. Good going Aesha!

    • I will take it as a compliment. I am glad I could motivate an accomplished blogger to write . Thanks Kanika

  10. Make all the excuses tou need if it’s for yourself Aesha. Life can get overwhelming with increased responsibilities and more aspirations for self as we approach mid life, there is no easy or right answer. As long as you are not making excuses to self . Like I am trying my best to learn driving and it’s realky tough learning in 30’s but I promised myself that I will make no excuses and will try my best to persevere

  11. Darling, I like your positive attitude towards life. Midlife is difficult but I am sure you wouldn’t have to depend on excuses because the confidant woman that you are, you would be able to easily sail through it. Keep rocking girl.

  12. I think it’s OK to make excuses sometimes. We have such busy lives and whilst it’s important to take care of everyone else it’s equally important to take care of yourself.

    • Thanks Deepa.. after writiing this post and sharing my thoughts I am feeling more relaxed because of the encouraging words.

  13. I think we sometimes mistake Priorities for excuses. Every individual needs to have his/her own ‘me’ time. There should be absolutely no compromise on that aspect. Without personal space, a person will lose his individuality. It’s ok to take loved ones into confidence and lay down certain expectations and ground rules with respect to personal time.

    Glad this post led to a mini-conversation. I like your musings.

    Do drop by mine.

    Cheers,
    CRD

    • So true , we do mistake priorties and excuses. I never gace a thought to that. Thanks a lot. This does help me.

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