Are you parenting a teen and going through pre-menopause or Menopause? I have a few tips but before we come to that, I would like to share one incident that happened a few days ago.
I was experiencing PMS and my daughter was asking me questions which I didn’t want to answer. Basically, I did not want to be bothered and wanted to be left alone. I snapped at her. She snapped back. And then both of us cried.
While I was calmer, I recalled my teenage years which coincided with my mom’s difficult pre-menopausal stage. I would not listen to her; I would argue and would not be able to comprehend her opinion. After I became a mother, I repented my behaviour and wished I had been more understanding during those difficult times. It was also a time in her career where she had many work-related responsibilities, plus home responsibilities as my grandparents were ageing and there were many decisions to be taken regarding my future career choices as well.
After my one episode with my daughter, I know that there is going to be a time when both of us will be going through hormonal changes which we both will find difficult to decipher. I would be facing mood swings, anxiety and she would be feeling mixed emotions as well during puberty.
So many of my mommy friends of preteens and teens tell me that they find it very difficult to cope with their kids’ behaviour. Both are experiencing the exact same symptoms but finding it difficult to relate to each other.
It’s very natural to feel irritable and lack patience. Also, many women experience fatigue during menopause. So, it’s very necessary that you take care of yourself during menopause.
My mom was always very considerate about other’s needs and would not take care of her own health. Amongst all the responsibilities she ignored her health issues. She did not visit a gynaecologist for the longest time and kept ignoring the symptoms.
Based on her experience, I would like to share a few tips on
How to manage the phase of parenting a teen and menopause
Take care of yourself
Do not neglect your own mood and take rest if you feel fatigued. Because if you are always going to be tired, it’s not possible to take care of the family. So, it’s not selfish to look after yourself, rather it should be your priority.
Delegate work and share responsibilities
Do not hesitate to delegate work and share responsibilities. There is no need to be a superhuman. As women, we tend to multitask even if it is difficult. Please communicate with your family, about your feelings and your needs, if you are struggling with all the tasks.
You could explain to your teenagers that your hormones are changing and you would love to have their support and help rather than arguing and being harsh with each other.
Have a dedicated ‘Me time’
Give your body some relaxation time. It’s a time you spend doing nothing. It is very important that you give some time to your body to relax and recuperate and it should be included in your self -care routine.
Get a body checkup done regularly and take any supplements that are needed after consulting your physician. Most of the times, women have low levels of Vitamin B, Magnesium and Calcium and that could lead to fatigue and irritability.
Don’t ignore your symptoms
My mom ignored the symptoms so at a later stage she had to be operated to remove her uterus. Also, she suffered for many years. Physical well being also affects one’s mental well being. And she ignored both. That’s why I would like to reiterate that one should not ignore the symptoms and discuss with the doctor at the right time because we just keep on blaming our hormones and menopause but there could be other health issues which need to be addressed.
Have a healthy diet
It is very important to eat well. Make sure that you are having a nutritious, wholesome meal to support your body. Hydrate yourself well. You can make this a family activity to plan a weekly menu. Involve your teenager in this activity, because they tend to fuss over food a lot and it happens that moms give in to their demands and ignore their own diet in the process.
Do not ignore the importance of exercising. It could be a brisk walk for 30 minutes daily or yoga or strength training or play a sport with your teenager. It could be any form of exercise that you enjoy and one that does not become a burden.
Meditate or listen to soothing music or read a book before you sleep. Do not bring your worries to your bed. Resolve all the conflicts you had with your teenager before you go to sleep.
I do not wish to have a repeat of the one episode that happened between me and my daughter and certainly do not want to go through what my mom had to. So, I would like to look at menopause and puberty as new beginnings for us.
This post is a part of My Friend Alexa Season 5 with Blogchatter
Other posts in the Parenting the Teens Series