When I look back at my years as a teenager or even a young adult, I feel that there has been a long phase in my life when I felt lost. There was no sense of direction in terms of my career goals. I succumbed to pressure and let others choose for me.
This is what happened after I passed my 10th Grade.
Though I was pretty sure about pursuing the study of humanities, I was advised to choose commerce. I was told a student of humanities has ‘no future’. Phrases such as ‘keep all your options open’ – for whatever that means were repeated by family members, parents and peers.
I was someone who though extremely confident of my strengths couldn’t withstand the objections others made about my choice because I got scared. I wasn’t ready to face failure and was under fear of being judged for my choices.
For the next 15 years of my life, I took decisions which were safe choices. After I finished my post-graduation, I was at a juncture wherein accountancy didn’t interest me at all. I was at a crossroads and didn’t know which route to take.
This situation had also made me realise that when one feels incapable to make choices for their life others take it upon themselves to make decisions for you. Life took its course I started depending on others to help me make decisions for my life and I ended up qualifying as a post-grad teacher. I started teaching accountancy- a subject I never enjoyed. But I worked hard, and become very popular amongst students as a teacher who was gentle and understood them.
I did enjoy teaching but because studying commerce was never my choice, I wasn’t confident about teaching accountancy. When I got pregnant, I decided to take a sabbatical. If I am being completely honest, it would not have been my choice if I was confident in the career I was pursuing.
It was only in my 30s when I wanted to set the right example for my daughter, I took matters into my hand and started making independent choices about my career. Blogging was a lifesaver. I got an opportunity to be vulnerable, and surprisingly it didn’t matter to me if anyone judged me for my choice or for that matter I was ready to fail. For the first time, I was confident about what I was doing. I know it would mean a lot to my husband to have some financial support through me contributing to the family income but encouraged me to follow my dreams.
Though blogging gave me some financial independence and a sense of purpose, I always missed my interactions with my students. But I didn’t want to go back to teaching so I started my research on careers which were best suited for me.
On introspection, I realised that as a teacher I enjoyed having career discussions with my students. When their parents would come to me with complaints about them being unsure of their careers, I tried to be the bridge between them. As a high school student, I never got that from my teachers. That’s when I decided to start my independent practice as a career counsellor. And let me tell you this is the best choice I ever made in my life.
In these last two years as a career counsellor, I have interacted with around 100 students and it has been just what I needed. When these students tell me after our discussions, that they found clarity and know the next step forward, it gives me contentment which is beyond any monetary benefit.
Here I have to tell you all about this one incident. I was discussing finances with my father after turning into an entrepreneur and told him that in a year I will break even and that is so exciting. Though he appreciated my vision; he gave me valuable advice. He told me not to worry about money, it’s just a by-product. I should just focus on being present for my students, do extensive research to help them better, read and analyse every career and stay updated with the latest in the education sector. Making this choice of being a counsellor over an entrepreneur, is so much more satisfying. Maybe I will not be known as a top counsellor or a successful one in the industry but will surely be one for my students.
The testimonials of my students and parents matter to me more than the bank balance. Today I am super happy that I made the right choice and that I am not part of any race. For the first time, I have made a choice to compete with my own self. I have made a choice to be a better counsellor each day.
But most importantly, I am enabling students to make choices on their own. I am here to support them if they think they made a wrong one, to empower them to get up when they fall and not be afraid of making their own choices.
“This post is written for IT’S MY CHOICE Blog Train by Gleefulblogger & Wigglingpen ( in association with ) Vedix & Kerala Ayurveda
Great information!!
I can totally relate with you here as we just went with the flow at that time and now we feel we should have taken decisions wisely considering your choice
Firstly, thank you for participating in the blog hop, this means a lot to us. Secondly, I love the fact that you are what I would always look for in a happy, independent, confident, and dependable woman. You paved your path, from highs and lows, overcoming the prejudices made. I am glad we are bringing our girls that way too. Many congratulations of successful two years, and many more to go.
Thank you, Dipika for such kind words.
I can completely resonate with your story. Great to know about you , at the end of the day that contentment matters the most money is indeed a by product. Keep shining girl!
You’re doing an amazing job, Aesha. One of the most important thing that we missed as kids was career guidance. I too let others decide things for me, else I would’ve been something else today. Money, although important, takes a backseat when your work involves helping someone shape their future, doesn’t it?
Yes Varsha. I think this is the happiest time in my life, because though blogging gives me immense satisfaction, I never enjoyed the growing importance of social media to stay relevant in the space. I had to find something to do which gave me complete joy.
I believe that whatever job I choose in life should satisfy both me and my emotional well-being. You have chosen the appropriate words to express your own work and how it brings you happiness. What matters is that you are happy.
That’s right, Anjali. Thanks
While reading I felt as if it is my story. But I am glad that as a parent now, I do not force anything onto my kids. They have all the rights to do what they feel is good for them but yes being around and guide them is the only thing I do. Good to know about your journey and glad you found your passion.
I think our experiences will help our children a lot. We are much more aware as parents and with technology advancement we have lot of information which helps to guide our children.
great that you have made your choice and are happy with the same. good to know all about your decisions in life.
Thanks Cindy.