Self-esteem is the foundation to build confidence in children. It is the driving force behind the behaviour of the child. Without it, children will not be happy.
I had read a quote in one of the resources I used during my teaching days in school.
“Children need to realize what others appreciate about them in order to feel self-worth”.
During the teacher training sessions and workshops that I attended, it was emphasized that as educators we need to empower children by making them confident about themselves.
Parents and teachers need to focus on a child’s emotional and social needs to nurture self-esteem.
While schools nowadays focus a lot in building interpersonal, intra-personal, social and emotional skills in children through various activities, devising a holistic academic curriculum and introducing sports in the daily school routine.
This is what we can do as parents:
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- Praise children. Reward them, recognise their efforts.
- Emphasize their strengths and not on their weakness.
- Define rules clearly. Make them a part of the decision making. Let them make their own rules.
- Focus on self-discipline, rather than forced discipline.
- Always show care, empathise and do not sympathize.
- Be available to them. Be a good listener. Give support whenever they need it.
- Talk with them about their interests, likes and dislikes. Talk about the activities they would like to do. Be their partner.
- Have reasonable expectations from children. Help them set achievable goals so they can achieve success.
- Give children responsibility. Involve them in household chores. Help them understand the importance of responsibility and accountability.
- Help them develop tolerance. Share stories which depict tolerance.
- Refrain from blaming them. Children will not look for solutions if they are blamed for their mistakes.
- Make efforts to understand their emotions. Take their feelings seriously, do not belittle them.
- Use positive reinforcement techniques. Use positive phrases to motivate them.
- Avoid phrases that hurt their self-esteem: “You never understand”, “This dress is not looking good on you”, “You need to lose weight”, “You are so skinny”, “You don’t look good with spectacles”, “How many times should I remind you?”
- Be a good role model. Let them know that you also make mistakes and try and learn from them. Let them know that you feel good about yourself.
Please share your views and do mention in comments if you would like to add any more points to focus on to build self-esteem in children.
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Amazing post thank you for all the great tips. This will help me so much as a parent to build up my kids 🙂 flightministries.com
I am glad it helped. Thanks for visiting the blog
I just want to add to your great advice to parents and teachers : when you need to correct a child do it without shaming him or her. Shame is toxic to developing self-esteem. We do not have to make believe children are perfect all the time. They need to be able to understand that none of us if perfect all the time and that ‘s just fine. Human is better than perfect.
So true Elizabeth! Thanks for your input & reading
These are wonderful tips that can make a huge difference in children! Once they are confident in themselves they often begin building the confidence of others
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Helpful insights. Thank you
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It’s really very important and useful post for both moms and teachers. Both plays a vital role in the bringing up of a child. And its our duty to always try to built or develop self esteem in them. This way they feel more confident and encouring. These points are very useful for developing self esteem. Thanks for sharing. #minreads #myfriendalexa.
Thanks for reading Minakshi
Some really fantastic tips for parents. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Rohan for reading
Great thought to improve self-esteem. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks
Lovely tips and while we might be following some of these already, reading them all together just helps reinforce it within our minds and we can consciously help raising more confident children
That is true. Thanks for reading
A wonderful blog post for both Teachers and Parents.Indeed the onus lies on both for the academic and mental growth of a child!??
Thanks Minakshi
Thanks for the useful tips! This is how my family raised us & I intend to follow the same steps. Kids these days want to be treated as individuals and we should not ignore this fact.
Thanks for reading Disha.
Good topic. It’s so important to treat children as individual and treat them with respect. Great post!
Thanks a lot for reading Sheethal.
This is must have reminder for all the parents. We follow these things but tend to forget few points when we are stressed.
I would like to add not comparing them with other kids , not even their siblings.
Yes Alpana . We need this reminders even if we know. I agree that we should avoid comparing them which we do many times though unintentionally but it affects a child’s self esteem
Excellent tips on raising a child’s self esteem. A lot of parents know how important it is to praise but do not know how to actually do so beyond saying ‘good job’. This is a very useful post in this regard.
Thanks Charu. Parents do know what is best for the child , we just need to keep reminding ourselves that we do not affect the child’s sense of self due to our parenting style.
Excellent tips to improve self-esteem.This is an important article for all moms to read .Thank you for sharing your tips.
Thanks Amrita.
Great subject, it’s extremely important to understand every child’s nerve and accordingly raise them to be more confident!
Yes Seema every child is a different individual, need to recognise that first. Thanks for reading
Great post.. I find it very useful and know the importance of cultivating self esteem in kids as I am in the process of raising a toddler and an infant 🙂
Thanks for great tips
Thanks Iram. I am glad it helped you.
Great post with practical tips. Understanding kids and appreciating kids works wonders I believe!
Yes Reema. Thanks for reading
Great post Aesha…every point makes sense especially respecting the child. Treating a child as an individual is important to raise him or her to be independent..
Thanks Anubhuti
I would say that you bring up a really good point here as it’s important to motivate children from the time they are very young. It’s important to let them know that they you respect their decisions and will always back them even despite failures. They need to be empowered to take their decisions without the fear of failure.
Yes Aseem, true. Thanks for reading.
Hi Aesha. nice post. The points we reinforce as parents and educators, the values we try to imbibe, that reflect in our behaviour, what children mirror in theirs is all that parenting stands for.
Thanks for reading and sharing your views Gayatri
Hey Aesha!
Molding little ones into confident and good human beings is such an important tasks for all parents. You’ve thoughtfully jotted down a lot of valuable key points.
Thanks a lot Diya, means a lot
I am not yet married but these tips remind of my parents and how they raised me.
That is good to hear. Thanks for reading a parenting blog .
I love all your posts dear. Its a delight to read your blogs as they are so thought out and informative. I will try to incorporate these tips ..
Regards
Neha (Sharing our experiences)
Thanks a lot Neha
A great post on how to raise self confident kids. A great reminder to parents that yelling, screaming and negative outpouring can damage their child’s self esteem.
Thanks Hena Jose for reading and your valuable feedback
What a wonderful post, Aesha! Great tips and I hope every mother reads this! 🙂
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Thanks a lot Shalini. I am glad you found it useful.
A very relevant post in these competitive times. I feel that being too much perfection focused may also damage a kid’s self esteem. Also my mantra – “NEVER COMPARE YOUR CHILD TO ANYONE ELSE”
Thanks for sharing these very useful tips
That is so true Anupriya. I should include these points too. Thanks for reading
A very useful post Aesha. I am always trying to instill positive thoughts in my two year old. I hope he grows as a strong good individual.
That’s great Tina. Thanks for reading and I am glad you found he post useful.
Great post and a wonderful list. Glad I’m doing some of them and can work on a few more. 🙂
That’s good . Thanks for reading
A wonderful wonderful post. This blog should be mantra for all parents. It makes me sad when I see someone not giving the respect to kids they deserve just because they are kids. These are the formative years of kids & what they become today will stay with them forever.
Thanks a lot Shalu. That is true we need to recognise kids as individuals. Appreciation from fellow parents means a lot.
Yes respecting them is important it teaches them to do that same great point 🙂 flightministries.com
Hi Aesha! Thank you so much for this gem of a post. A timeless reminder for all parents…I´m going to bookmark this for reference at all time. Each and every point is so true. Keep writing! Love and Hugs!
Thanks a ton Tina. Means a lot.
These are great tips Aesha. I agree with giving kids responsibilities but also having reasonable expectations from them and vocally recognizing their efforts.
Thanks Mahak.
Really nice tips Aesha! It’s important to allow kids to ‘decide’ too as they need to start learning as early as possible.
Thanks for reading Zainab
Ou words go a long way. So it’s important to watch what we say. And keep telling them the things they are good at. Interesting points Aesha.
https://natashamusing.com/2017/09/life-cycle-mondaymusings/
Thanks a lot for reading always Natasha.
Very practical suggestions. I personally believe that we need to empower our children and allow them to make good choices. The focus has to be on making them a responsible person capable of making their own choices.
That is so true .
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That’s right equipping them for their future by allowing them to make their own choices is great. Awesome post. flightministries.com
A lovely thoughful & thought provoking article.. the 15 tips would be a good way to build up a child.
Thanks a lot for reading
These tips are surety of making kid a better human being – thank you for sharing with all of us.
Thanks a lot for reading too
This is true Aesha. Children have a soft heart. We need to be cautious while talking to them. Sometimes, I also realise that I have talked harshly to my child and regret later. Then I have to love them and make them understand that situation made me say so and I love them more every moment that passes by.
Geethica all moms go through this, yes but we have to choose our words well. Thanks for reading
Little praises go a long way with children. Little praise for even the smallest of things can mean the world to them
True Prisha. Thanks for reading
Yes let’s praise them and let them know how proud we are. Great point 🙂 flightministries.com
There is so much pressure on the children these days that they need to have a robust self-esteem or else they’ll always doubt themselves. I hear myself saying some of the comments you’ve mentioned in your post. Thanks for this reminder.
Thanks for reading.
It’s a must to have a chat with our kids as soon as they come back to school. 15 ways to build self esteem in children is very exact and to the point you have blogged. Thanks
Thanks for reading
Very important and handy tips! These are simple things that we can do… Try making a printable resource of this. Will be useful for many parents
Oh sure Neha. I will figure that out and will make one for pinterest.
Agreed!
Such an important post in a world that is constantly pulling you down
Love
P.
Thanks Pooja. We need to groom children.
Great pointers to build self esteem in children. According to me, kids should not be compared with anyone. This will help to build their self esteem and self confidence. Thanks for sharing this post.
Yes I? agree comparing ourselves with others is silly we are all unique, let’s embrace that 🙂 great thought! flightministries.com
Self esteem should always be built in children. Else it will be so difficult to trust themselves later on in their life. Agree with the tips you have shared.
Thanks for reading Swathi. I am glad you liked the post.
Childhood plays an important role in any person’s future life..It is necessary that every child enjoys this phase with self confidence!!!
That is true. Thanks for reading
Self esteem is vitally important for our children. A confident child is able to face challenges and succeed. It is our duty as parents to ready our children for adulthood, and I can think of no better way than to boost their confidence and let them know someone cares.
#CherylProWriter
Thanks for reading and sharing your feedback . You are right, children can be made to be successful and happy when provided with a caring & secure environment
Agreed to all your points 🙂
Thanks for reading Ruchie
Such a well chosen topic and great tips on building self esteem. I think it’s very important that we set the right example. I want to stop saying ” do I look fat in this dress”‘I really beat myself for this as I realise the wrong example about body shaming I am setting before my child
Thanks Akshata. Yes , we need to choose words well . Like Mishti is always taunted for her tanning because of swimming. But she replies that she knows swimming which is more important than skin colour. I have taught her this. Sometimes it seems rude but for me her self esteem is more important
Bingo!glad you did that Aesha
Yes it’s hard to remember sometimes they are always watching. I’m sure you will use these tips and do great around your kids 🙂 flightministries.com
really useful and simple tips to show your concern for kids positively.
Thanks for reading Prachi.. share share share
Thank you for writing this Aesha. The tips are useful and I am so going tot try them <3
Thanks Swati