I was in Grade 10 and didn’t score well in pre-board exams in maths and science. My science teacher commented,” Your father is a well known scientist, why have you not performed well!” How much ever I try, I can’t forget this statement.
The teacher didn’t even think a second before she decided to comment so casually. Never did it cross her mind that how it will affect me. Here is this girl, whose mother is a Principal and father a well known scientist of the country who is already under immense pressure to prove herself to the society. All she wants is the support and encouragement of her teachers. Isn’t it!
In the 90’s rarely did teachers think about the emotional wellness of students. Thankfully, just one month to prior to board exams I found a teacher who guessed the reason of me not performing well academically in our very first meeting.
When I first met him and he asked me to solve a sum, my hands trembled. This was my last chance, I thought. I had to impress him, I had to just do one sum correctly so that he will take me under his wings. But I couldn’t write, I just cried. He held my hand. He was one the most well known tutors and didn’t have so much time to spend on one student, yet he just sat with me while I solved the sum. Although I didn’t get it right, yet he didn’t teach me the concept. He was a true teacher, an expert not only in his subject but to gauge the emotions within me. He knew that the mistake I made while solving the sum was not because I didn’t know the concept but it was just lack of confidence. I didn’t believe in myself. In the next one month he just worked on my emotional wellness and not mathematics. He made it simple. Everyday I had to solve one question paper of maths and science. And when I would come to submit my answer sheet, discuss with him how I felt before I solved the paper and after I solved the paper. Was I happy with my performance, was I sad, was I angry with myself that I didn’t know the answer, what did I feel? Have I addressed these emotions?
This simple exercise proved extremely effective. I got my lost confidence back. I studied for myself and not to prove anything to the world.
Understanding Emotional Wellness
Emotional wellness refers to the ability to recognise, understand, express, and manage our emotions effectively. It involves being in touch with one’s feelings, as well as developing the capacity to cope with stress, handle adversity, and build positive relationships. Emotional well-being is not solely about avoiding negative emotions but also about fostering a healthy emotional balance.
Importance of Emotional Wellness In Children
I interact with teenagers and young adults on a daily basis because of the nature of my work and I know that they are under tremendous pressure. It reflects in their behaviour. Most come to me feeling nervous and are not able to share easily. It is a highly competitive world out there. They feel this pressure a lot.
I strongly believe that while academics and extracurricular activities play a significant role in a child’s development, nurturing emotional intelligence and resilience is equally, if not more, essential. As parents and caregivers, fostering emotional wellness in our children lays a strong foundation for their overall well-being and success in the future. Children who are emotionally well-adjusted tend to have better self-esteem, improved social skills, and a higher likelihood of developing healthier relationships.
That brings me to the topic of my blog post,
Can Emotional Wellness Be Ingrained In Our Kids and How?
Encourage Open Communication:
Create a safe and open environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions without judgement. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and concerns. One effective method that I have learnt after speaking with experts is to have this weekly circle time wherein all family members sit in a circle and just share. This is not a time to give solutions but to just listen to each other.
Emotional Literacy:
Teach children about different emotions and how to label them. Reading books and using age-appropriate resources can be helpful in this regard.
Empathy Building:
Help children understand the emotions of others by discussing feelings and perspective-taking. Engage in activities that promote empathy and compassion.
Problem-Solving Skills:
Teach children effective problem-solving strategies to manage their emotions and resolve conflicts. Encourage them to brainstorm solutions to their challenges.
Stress Management:
Share stress-reduction techniques with your children, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation. Practice these techniques together.
Positive Reinforcement:
Celebrate your child’s emotional successes and provide positive feedback when they handle challenging situations well. This reinforces their emotional growth.
Set a Positive Example:
Children learn a lot by observing their parents and caregivers. Model healthy emotional regulation and conflict resolution in your own interactions.
Seek Professional Help:
If you notice persistent emotional issues in your child, don’t hesitate to seek the assistance of a mental health professional. Early intervention can make a significant difference.
Conclusion
Emotional wellness is not something that magically develops in children; it requires intentional nurturing. Remember that emotional wellness is an ongoing process, and as parents and caregivers, we have a vital role to play in fostering it. By providing a supportive environment and the necessary tools, we can empower our children to lead fulfilling, emotionally balanced lives.
Oh, I forgot to share. You must be wondering how I performed in my boards. I scored 94 in Science and 89 in Maths, chose commerce for further studies and became a teacher, now a career counsellor so that I can be that mentor to my students, one who understands them, doesn’t judge them based on their academic performance and gives priority to help them become strong individuals who can face life challenges with elan.
‘This post is a part of Truly Yours Holistic Emotions Blog Hop by Rakhi Jayashankar and Roma Gupta Sinha
??????????????????? Your article on ingraining emotional wellness in children is insightful and practical. Teaching kids about emotional intelligence from a young age is essential for their overall well-being. Your tips on fostering a nurturing environment and open communication are valuable. Thanks for sharing these important parenting insights! ???????????? #EmotionalWellness #ParentingTips ????????
good points and i agree that children from a young age need to learn and be equipped with tools on handling themselves and their emotions. Emotional wellness is just as important as physical well-being.
Teachers play such an important role in building us in schools. I have had my share of experiences with teachers who were bullies but also found one teacher who understood the predicament we as children went through
Defiantly emotional well is important element to be engrained in kids from early on for them to make it a part of life and how they behave with others at large. This requires parents to model ideal behavior as house is the 1st learning ground for kids.
This should be a chapter in school books. What a beautiful explanation, and all of it mostly rose from introspection and personal experience. Emotional literacy is a magical, bahubali tool! But there is so little tall about it. Aesha- this blog is genius.
Raising kids while imbibing emotional.wellness comes from small acts. Few words, actions and gestures plays a huge role. Your post shall make many parents and teachers understand that small actions do carry a huge impact.
Your personal experience here makes it even more clearer to understand about emotional understanding. The suggestions to ingrain emotional wellness are doable
Since you’re working in this field I attach immense importance to every word you wrote, Aesha. I can imagine how a teacher’s or any elder’s hurtful words can completely ruin a child’s self-confidence. I believe that the world is going to be mean and cruel anyway, our home should be a safe haven for our kids to grow into assured individuals with a good emotional quotient. I like the idea of a weekly circle. Can try it at home.
Your post was such a treat to read because of the personal connection you established. Yes, emotional wellness is at the very heart of overall wellness, and honesty around this subject must be inculcated from a young age. It’s because you are a counsellor that you are so empathetic, and this is something we must emulate you on.
Your narrative beautifully underscores the profound impact emotional wellness can have on an individual’s life, particularly on young students. Your personal experience and subsequent journey as a teacher and career counselor demonstrate the transformational power of emotional support and understanding in education.
The contrast between the unsympathetic, discouraging comment from one teacher and the compassionate guidance of another perfectly highlights the critical role that emotional support plays in a student’s academic success and emotional well-being.
Your emphasis on nurturing emotional wellness in children and teenagers is incredibly important in today’s competitive and high-pressure academic environment. Your practical strategies to promote emotional wellness, such as open communication, emotional literacy, empathy building, and stress management, are insightful and actionable.
Your own story of overcoming academic setbacks through emotional support and guidance is inspirational and exemplifies how fostering emotional wellness can lead to remarkable personal achievements.
As you rightfully state, emotional wellness isn’t an automatic process; it necessitates deliberate cultivation, especially by parents, caregivers, and educators. Your dedication to empowering students to face challenges and your transformation into a mentor who prioritizes understanding and support for their emotional needs is truly commendable.
Your closing reveals a heartwarming success story, providing an inspiring example of how emotional wellness, support, and understanding can lead to academic success and fulfilling career paths.
Your journey serves as a guiding light and a testament to the enduring influence of emotional wellness in the lives of young individuals.
Loved reading about your journey of becoming a teacher and counselor. This is my favorite topic – well-being of our next generation. By doing this right we get to impact many future generations. Loved your points on how to teach them about emotional wellness and resilience. As we hand them this map, they will learn to navigate the ups and downs of their lives and when the time comes pass on the knowledge to serve as each generations wisdom.
Your story highlights the importance of emotional wellness, especially for students facing academic pressure. It’s heartwarming to hear how a compassionate teacher helped you regain your confidence and succeed. The tips you provided for nurturing emotional wellness in children are valuable, and your journey from struggling with pre-board exams to becoming a teacher and career counselor is inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story!
I agree with you that back in our childhood, teachers were quite harsh and shaming a child was considered the way by some teachers to motivate a child. Thank goodness, teachers are now more aware of the impact it had. Thank you for sharing your story. You were indeed blessed with a teacher who guided you to success.
You had a good teacher who changed your life for the better. Emotional wellness is a concept that has garnered attention recently. When we were young, nobody would talk about mental and emotional wellness; it doesn’t mean that they didn’t matter. It’s a good change in society that such issues are discussed openly.
Yes, in 90s teachers didn’t care and if you are an introvert then ‘geoduck’. I’ve been in worse scenarios where I finally forced myself to be an extrovert infront of people. Now I am 29 and this forced extroversion for years had taken a bad toll on me. In todays world what we had faced we need to make sure that our kids dont face and I had seen my nieces they are good but emotionally very strong. Sometimes I wish only if I…
What a lovely story of how you became a teacher and then a counsellor. Yeah most of our teachers never thought twice before saying something drastic to us. I remember a math teacher ask me why I didn’t come to school for three days if i hadn’t travelled to India for my father’s funeral. I was 11. I was in Kuwait. We were mourning. I didn’t know how to answer that question.
I too agree, with you that in the 90s, teachers seldom considered the emotional well-being of their students. I have personally experienced many such instances where teachers made remarks casually without much thought to the impact on students’ emotions. You’re fortunate to have such an incredible teacher who recognized the true talent in you.
And congratulations on your impressive board results! Your dedication to your career as a teacher and now as a career counselor is truly inspiring. It’s great to hear how you prioritize understanding and supporting students beyond just their academic performance. Keep up the good work.
You post reached me at the right time. My kids are growing and I witnessed a surprisingly different side of my kids I terms of their wellness. It felt like I didn’t know them at all. Your post is so relatable. It left me to introspect about how I was dealing with them. It’s like sometimes amidst my emotional turmoil, I forget about them. Thanks for the reminder Aesha.
True, when we were younger, teachers never bothered to understand our emotions. I had an elder sibling who was a topper and so I was constantly compared with her and found wanting. It takes a long time for kids to regain confidence and perform well later in life. Thankfully, there is better awareness these days and we are slowly getting better than before. We still have a long way to go, though.
Hello Aesha,
A good teacher can really understand your weaknesses and fears and guide you to be the best version of yourself, and I am so glad that you found one at such a crucial time of your life. I remember that the 10th board was such a fearful prospect for us in these times. I am surprised at the number of cases of depression and anxiety I am encountering in my clinic nowadays, maybe because of increased awareness or because of so many other social factors, but it is a sad turn of events and I agree that the tools that you have listed here can definitely help a child become more resilient and secure.
I would just like to add that unloading your frustrations and anger in front of young children in an unhealthy manner- like screaming, violent behavior, threatening to leave or harm yourself are some of the other things that can make a child very insecure and anxious or depressed. This is the behavior that needs to be modified. It is important to vent your feelings in a healthy manner.
WOW! you really got a good teacher. I don’t recall any mentor who spent time understanding how I felt or what i needed to do. Now, over the years I have worked this out and always pay attention to my emotions. Which of course, we call our gut feeling. I like the way you have given the principles for others to benefit them.
Dear Aesha,
You are really lucky to get such an amazing teacher as your guide, who actually found the real gem in you and did the necessary polishing and cut with care to make you a diamond. Emotional wellness used to be missing badly in the kids of our times. I can still remember the comparison that I and my sister used to face for our studies. We were always compared with our friends, parents friends kids, parents colleagues kids, relatives kids and who not. Unfortunately the comparison were made by none other than our parents. I could have been a very good engineer but my father thought I am pathetic in maths and never allowed to study science and my mom want to take me humanities which I actually never liked to pursue as it never interests me in making a career in this field. I need to make them understand forcefully that if not science I will go for commerce. Some how I took commerce where none in the family ever studied in this field and I was always showed negative approach because of my selection. By I came out with flying colors and the best part is that commerce is one such segment which needs the maximum use of mathematical brain. I was a rank holder in the state in commerce stream…. no one showed me support but I need to stand for me as I was sure at what I am good at. What I went through I will ensure that never happen with my child and full support will be there from our side as parent to decide his choice of subject and career as for me emotional wellness in kids is very important for a great future ahead. Thanks for coming up with such a brilliant topic on emotional wellness.
Regards
Samata
Aesha, you know, while reading your experience I was feeling a similarly but couldn’t remember until I reached the day when I faced the same experience for the first time. That day it was a Trigonometry class test at my tution but due to fear I forgot all the equations and theories so I couldn’t write anything. But my tutor understood me so well, he called my Dad and told him to take me home. I gave the exam at home under my Dad’s surveillance. But unfortunately I never had such a teacher at my college when I needed them the most. Your experience should guide other teachers to ingrain emotional wellness in students and support them to do better in life.
Thank you for sharing your story Aesha, it is an eye opener for many and your suggestions are a must for every parent to read and emulate. Emotional wellness in kids can be engrained surely
I agree to an extent. We can raise our kids to be emotionally strong, but the peer pressure can influence them a lot. This is my point of view.