Parenting is how we make it out to be. But generally it’s hard. Every parent makes some mistake some time while raising their kids and would want to do things differently. But in the process one gains amazing experiences of being a parent. So I am sure each one would have some parenting confession to make.
I have myself many confessions which I would like to share here, now that we are making our confessions. But it i’snt about me, it’s about my friends. That made me very excited to write about parenting confessions.
I was quite intrigued about knowing about my friends parenting confessions. I have known each one of them over a varied period of time and we do discuss about our children but have never spoken about confessions.
Usually every parent seeks that “me time” after having kids and would like some space. This is one thing most of my friends told me when I asked them to share their parenting confessions. But there were few who faced challenges while raising their kids and I thought I should ask them do they have any particular confession to make. Some shared what they learnt from their kids and some had humorous confessions too.
So here is what they had to say or rather the confessions they made. All confessions are in their own words.
1. This is about my experience of motherhood as a single working parent living in the maximum city called Mumbai.
My son is like any other 15 year old teenage boy. Over the years as he was growing, I had observed that he was not very handy around the house. I always wanted my son to help me around in the household chores.
As a single parent it was necessary I teach him all this from a young age. So I blocked sometime with my son for a discussion on how the home front would be managed. So cooking which fell into my set of responsibility was managed by arranging for a cook and various other household duties were divided amongst us.
I have to confess here which came to me as a surprise too that the young lad was indeed carrying out his responsibility very seriously and thoughtfully and with aplomb!
He would sort coloured clothes from whites, put them into washing machine in different cycle (yes, it’s true!) and hang them off the line. He would fold and sort them into two piles, mine and his. Mine would be neatly kept on my bed and his in his cupboard. Talk about orderliness!
He also offered to help me wash vessels if the house help didn’t turn up (which was my duty by the way) when I came home dead-tired from work. I (gladly) accepted and we did it together. It was such fun. We chatted and talked about our day. It brought a lump to my throat to seemingly sloth -like teenager, suddenly take ownership of his duties around the house. When did he grow up …. I wondered.
I have to confess life has taught my son a lot and I am proud of him that he will grow up to be a man who respects women. There were many lessons for me too. The most important being –trust your child. Children have a strong sense of right and wrong , and apply that in the most unexpected of situations.
2. I was working full time in U.S. until my son was almost two. It was tough, juggling between work and home but had some support from my in-laws, nanny and my husband (whenever he was in town, as he had a travelling job).
Then the roller coaster ride started. I had to quit work as my son started getting sick a lot, and unfortunately both my in-laws passed away in short duration. It was such tough time for us as a family but somehow with time we started adjusting.
I almost started looking for work but found out that I was expecting again. After having my second son I realized how hard it is handling two boys all by myself with my husband gone for 4 days a week. I had a long bad post partum depression.
I have to confess that this situation makes me so frustrated at times that I become too irritated at times and my older son is affected the most. I feel so guilty but I can’t control my anger. There are times I feel I want to put my kids in day care centre and go to work full time like most of my friends do here in the U.S. But then I realise my situation is so different from theirs. I want to be around for my kids as they have no family apart from me and their dad who also isn’t around most of the week.
I now understand the importance of family and how important grandparents are for kids. I feel so unfortunate to have lost my in laws and my parents are far away and cannot be with us.
I confess I used to be so stressed having my second child but now I realise he is a gift sent for my older son from my in-laws. I feel so proud when people appreciate me for raising my boys single – handedly in a foreign country.
3. I will confess I always had my doubts while making my mind for a second child, as I had never felt the need until my daughter made me realise. It was due to her desire for a sibling that I went ahead with the idea. Then was the question of this wide age difference. My daughter was already 10 years and by the time we decided to have a second child she will be aged 11. That was a huge difference! So I went through articles on children with huge age gap, the pros and cons of it etc. It was only then I decided to have one.
But I will confess though it was tough decision, I enjoyed all the attention I got from all the people around me. My older daughter was all grown up and I loved that she pampered me too.
Generally people feel older with two kids but after having my second daughter I feel younger and I enjoy elder daughter’s pre teen years and younger one’s infancy.
4. I have to confess I have learnt from my son, how important is the art of serving food in a plate. My son was just a two year old when he taught me this. Whenever I used to serve him roti he used to insist that I fold it in a semi circle and put it in his plate so as it looks like a smiley happy face. He would not like if I placed it the other way round as then it would make it a sad face and no one would like to be sad while eating meals. I confess I have never before paid attention to such details and you never cease to learn from kids.
5. I confess I shout at my child when he wets the bed at night. I know he’s very small and I have to train him, but after a long tiring day if I have to wake up in the middle of the night, I get really annoyed.
Some Dad’s confessions:
6. As I have very long working hours, I always regret not spending enough time with my daughter. I have to commute long distances and my work makes me travel a lot too. However I make it a point to be there for all the important functions in school or her competitions to cheer her and support her. However I confess though I spend quality time with her, I would love to be with her more and miss small things like wishing her good night or playing with her before bed time.
7. I confess I have yet to teach my son the importance to saving. We teach our children mostly all things that are necessary but sometimes fail to teach the importance of money. Mostly nowadays we tend to give children every materialistic thing without them asking for it too. I confess as a dad that I have yet to instil the value to money and importance of saving it. I confess I give my child whatever he asks for, even after my wife has refused to give him.
On a lighter note…..
8. Of course I love the kids and all that cute and cuddly stuff. But then there are times when they transform into these little monsters who are capable of wiping everything that comes their way and that’s when I think , that I wish I had some super powers so I would convert into ‘The Hulk” and just fling these little monsters away.
I would like to end by thanking all my friends for sharing their experiences and parenting stories in the process of making the confessions. It was extremely heart rendering when you shared your very personal memories with me. This definitely provided quite a few liofe lessons and would help me in parenting my daughter too.
Lastly, I would like all the readers to contribute too and provide me with their feedback. (I know this article has become too long, but I didn’t want to edit off my friends stories)
Also please share your parenting confessions by putting in comments.