It so happened, that one day my daughter saw me take out a sanitary napkin from my cupboard. This was a year ago and she was 7 years at that time. She got curious and asked me, Mumma, why do you need a diaper?” “You are not a baby!”
The “Talk”:
I was anticipating the question to arise but wondered is it time already to initiate the conversation about menstruation as I was not sure how much would she be able to comprehend. While training to be a teacher we were taught to introduce a subject by moving from known to unknown facts and as she already knew that mummy make babies I felt that would be the right way to introduce the subject. I told her that mummy’s body makes eggs and papa’s body makes sperms. When sperms and eggs meet, babies are made. And when the sperm doesn’t meet the egg, it flows out of the body from the private part in the form of blood. This happens every month for 5 days and Mumma has to wear this sanitary napkin, which soaks the blood so that Mumma doesn’t stain her clothes. Thankfully at that time, she didn’t ask me how the sperm and egg meet, as I had not thought about how to address that query. And she was satisfied with the answer.
Educating about Puberty:
But now that she is 8, I want to talk with her about menstruation and puberty. However, I do not want to sit with her and lecture her on it as excessive information might be overwhelming for her. Puberty can be a very confusing stage in a young girl’s life. So I feel that the best way to prepare girls for puberty would be by educating her through a series of discussions from time to time.
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Right Time to speak about Puberty:
Children are quite inquisitive by nature. Even toddlers have many questions pertaining to the body. Parents should consider each question about the body as an opportunity to give them information about the changes in the body that they will experience. However, parents need not to wait for the child to ask the question about puberty or menstruation. Ideally, by the time they’re close to puberty, both girls and boys should have full knowledge of the changes that will take place in their bodies.
Why should parents talk about puberty
Children ask questions to parents as they want to learn about most things from their parents. But they will also hear their friends discuss these changes. That is the reason; parents should provide kids with relevant and accurate information and be able to sort out any misinformation. Children could be often scared or confused about puberty and menstruation and if they have incorrect information then that’s what they’ll believe.
Changes in the body:
Each girl grows at her own pace but nowadays some girls do start puberty at the age of 8. Breast development is the beginning of puberty in girls. Almost a year, after breast development begins, girls enter into a phase of rapid growth. They will experience changes in the body by growing tall and body will start taking a shape. The first period arrives at about 2 and a half year after breast development. Once you start observing these changes in your daughter, you can talk to her about how she is growing up maybe while you are shopping for new clothes for her. Talk about how she will now grow taller very fast and that she will feel changes in her while trying out new clothes.
Ways to introduce Puberty:
Mothers can explain that monthly periods are a natural change in a woman’s body and a wonderful one as without them, women couldn’t become mothers. A few months back my friend took her daughter to watch the play “Growing Up” which was a novel manner to introduce puberty and menstruation to a child. You can alternatively also search for stories which talk about puberty or can make your own stories too.
Teaching children about puberty and menstruation should be an open, honest and continuous discussion. Most importantly, a parent must let children feel comfortable while discussing puberty.
How did you speak about puberty and menstruation to your child? At what age did you initiate the discussion?
Also read,
What If I Get My First Period At School?
Do share your views and experiences. Until then…
Happy Parenting!
Talking about the puberty in the right way really makes an impact. Your post is very helpful, these points you have touched upon are important.
Such an informative post. In my opinion, even boys should be taught about menstruation along with puberty changes in them too. Boys should be taught from an early age to respect a girl.
Absolutely. It’s very important that boys are also educated regarding puberty and menstruation. It will bring more inclusion
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This is a beautiful & relevant post. The comfort level is always zero when such topics needs to be handled but it is crucial to talk it with the young ones.
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Many women or men find it very uncomfortable to talk about puberty to their kids and rather brush it under the carpet. Good post Aeesha, much needed topic.
Thanks for reading Prerna.
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its amazing how well you managed to share the reality with your lo!
Thanks Prisha.
This ‘talk’ has always been delicate and awkward for every Mom. But I think it’s bettercthat parents told their kids instead of curiously googling or asking peers.
http://www.confusedparent.in
That is true Ekta. It’s better to explain them then to dodge the question. Thanks for reading
My daughter once asked me about the reason for sanitary napkin when she saw a commercial on tv. She was just 5 at that time. I just laughed away and said you will also use it once you grow up
Beaitiful post? We need to handle all such situations so carefully?
Yes, we need to be cautious while we explain it to kids. Thanks for reading
Yes, it is very important to inform kids about the physical changes before hand but I still feel emotional to think my little girl is growing up so fast.
I get scared too sometimes, to see my daughter grow up soon.
Thankfully we now have these topics covered in schools as well in the form of seminars…your answer was bang on..if you have to ans your child about making babies, a book called ‘where willy went’ can be helpful.
Thanks Anubhuti! I will refer the book.
you have touched this topic so beautifully every mom needs to read this piece not just girls even boys need to know about it at the right age
Thanks a lot. I am glad you liked it and found the article helpful.
It’s an essentially important topic to be discussed with girl child at the right time. You have handled it in a brilliant way. Must read for all moms.
Thanks Vasantha!
This is an important topic to talk to our kids about and I love the way you handled it. Will save it for the day my little one gets into talking mode and start noticing these things. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for reading. I am glad you found it useful.
The diaper talk has already occurred with me last year whem she was just 4 and I had no idea how to address it – all I mentioned it mumma use it and all big girls also use it. When you get little big I will give you also.. she was with a simple notion of – yes I am also gonna get these 😉
Very important topic you touched here, we have to proactively participate in conversations with our kids today.
I think you dealt with it in a correct way. At the age of 4, this information is all she needed to know plus comprehend.
An important topic touched here. Very well written 🙂
Thanks Anchal
Kids can ask the most innovative untapped questions
Yes, Kids have a crave to know everything . you need lot of patience to deal with such questions.
My son is 19 months old but I know I need to answer the above mentioned question.
Love your writing style.
Thanks Vaidehi
Lovely post:D my son has a time for that kind of questions but I will save it for future:D
Thanks for reading
What a great way of handling it. I can anticipate this question soon. I’m glad I read this post
Thanks Manveen. I am glad it will be helpful to you.
My daughter is already noticing it actually..As she is just 2.5 i want her to just grow a bit so that she would understand about all this..But seriously useful tips
http://www.simpleindianmom.in/5-easy-ways-to-control-children-out-of-your-home-without-using-physical-force/
Thanks Menaka.
Oh my. My son is only four and I am dreading the puberty talk. I love your tips.
Yes, he will ask in sometime. But I have realised that it’s easier to answer truthfully rather than dodging the question.
Such an educative post.. My niece is 9 & my sis has been thinking to teach her all about puberty, I think I should share this out with her!
Thanks Jhilmil
Kids are inquisitive and I agree it’s better to answer their questions in an age appropriate manner instead of them getting the wrong answers from peers..
Great post. I’ll be sharing it at thewordymom.com
Thanks a ton for that. Please share your Facebook page details. We should connect. You can tag http://www.facebook.com/AboutParentAndKid.com when you share the post on fb page.
My daughter is only 7 and I was considering speaking with her about it when she turned 8. I think it’s important to breach these type of subjects early and openly because I’m always saying I want to talk to my kids about things like puberty and sex so they have a clear understanding, instead of just listening to what other kids are talking about it and be misinformed!
I guess that is the way to gi
This is such an important subject and one often doesn’t know how to address it.. even I have been thinking of ways to tell my boy about all this..and your post definitely helps me figure out right way of approaching it..
Thanks for reading, I am glad was useful
My son was maybe 4 when he accidentally saw me taking the “diaper into the bathroom. Not the I was hiding it or anything, but I seriously did not think he will ask. And I explained in the most child friendly way possible to him, to feed his curiosity and not give him any wrong impression. age appropriate answer. he hasn’t asked me ever since, it seems he is ok with my answer. 🙂
Kids trust parents so they ask and are always satisfied with our answers. We should give them age appropriate answer so we do not lose their trust. I guess you did the right thing. Thanks for reading!
My dotty is just 2.5 and is already asking me why Mumma is wearing diaper. I know I will have answer these questions in an age appropriate manner. Your post touches upon the salient aspects so well!
Toddles are very inquisitive.
I am trying to evade this talk every time I notice her watching me either buy or take a napkin out. Perhaps it’s time to honour her curiosity. Nice one Aesha
Thanks Brinda. I am glad the article would help.
Such an informative blog Aesha. Crisp and clear. I totally agree with your thoughts
Thanks Swati