It was my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. I do not yet know whether being a single child to working parents or lack of self-confidence to get back to work or just being there for my daughter during the initial growing years or enjoying that phase of childhood or all these reasons collectively made me make this choice.
My Choice
I still wonder about the reason but I don’t doubt my choice. I am happy that I made that choice and do not regret my decision. Also, I do not consider it as a sacrifice that I made for my daughter. I think I made this choice for myself and not for her.
Having said this, I feel making this choice though seemed easy after the first three years when I was planning to get back to work, situations demanded that I extend my stay at home phase.
When The Going Got Tough
Now, this got a bit tough. We moved cities, I didn’t have friends. Hubby got super busy in a new role at work. This change was difficult for him as well so I didn’t share my feelings with him. I got busy with motherhood.
New Beginnings
Thankfully after 2 years of blogging happened and I found my true calling. Yes, it isn’t a full-fledged career but it gave me a satisfaction of using my time and energies productively. One thing led to another and I found new online friends and build beautiful relationships. I also found a wonderful opportunity of working from home. New relationships gave me new work opportunities. I rose to the role of being the Sub-editor for My Paper- a monthly newspaper for children after assisting for a couple of months.
Everything slowly fell into place. I was in a happy space. But sometimes I feel that Stay-At-Home moms don’t get their due. Their role in the family dynamics is taken for granted.
The Societal Pressures
People around you feel you are wasting your education if you are not working. They do not consider working from home or being a freelancer as a career. They feel making a lot of money should be the parameter to employ help for assisting in cooking or help to take care of your child. Else do it yourself, what are you doing all day long? Help in saving some of your hubby’s hard- earned money.
All this is disturbing. It breaks a woman. It breaks the woman’s confidence and she starts doubting her choice of being a stay at home mom.
That’s why this Women’s Day I would like to share what a Stay-At-Home Mom Really Wants.
- She doesn’t demand it but she wishes that her choice is respected.
- Love and care and not taking her for granted.
- Acceptance for her choice of being a Stay at home mom.
- Trust her choices and decisions. Just because she isn’t a working woman doesn’t mean she doesn’t have brains. (yes, I know you might be surprised but many think like this too)
- She needs your attention and time.
- Acknowledge that she is working too. Just because she chose to be at home doesn’t mean she is doing nothing.
- Understand her needs. There might be many moms who were forced to be a stay at home Mom. Observe them. Speak to them about what they really want.
- For a family to be happy, a mom needs to be happy. Give her that happiness.
- Do not judge her for wishing to have her ‘me-time’.
- I feel empowered even being a stay at home mom. There are more women like me out there, I guess. Don’t make them feel any less.
Simple isn’t it! I am sure we can give this much to the woman in our lives.
If you are a Stay-at-home Mom, do share with me what you really want in the comments.
Happy Women’s Day!!
Here’s the post I wrote last year on Women’s Day – 5 Fun, Female Privileges I’d Like To Pass On To Men This Women’s Day!
This Post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train Hosted by Prisha and Nayantara. I would like to thank Kapila for introducing me. Read their take on the Prompt 7 Reasons Why I Am Happy Being A Working Mother. I would like to Introduce Nayantara. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt. Visit her blog here 5 Ways How Being A Working Mom Helped Me.
Hosted By :
I can totally relate to this post about what a stay-at-home mom wants. Your words echo the feelings of many. Thank you for sharing your perspective!
This post is very Helpfull!!! Thank you
Superb post… Appreciate it
Thanks, Ramya
Great post, Aesha. all the points are really great. Everyone should respect others choices.
Thanks Mary. I am glad the post resonated with you
Excellent post, Aesha. I agree your all the points.
Happy to read this. Keep posted
Great post, Aesha. And I agree with each of your points especially – Acceptance for her choice of being a Stay at home mom. Please don’t judge her or criticize her. She is fighting enough battles as it is.
Yes.. love and not being taken for granted. That is so important.
I am happy to see you are happy making that choice for yourself. Take pride in the decisions you make in your life 🙂
Hi
Great post. As a woman who took time off twice in her career, once after the birth of her first child( no domestic help) and second in my 40s because my work situation was becoming unhandle- able, I can totally identify with the issues you listed. You put it so well.
For the family to be happy, the wife or mother needs to be happy. People can’t point fingers at the mothers and say she is dumb or her mother or mother in law did it while working and with many more children, why can’t she? These are unreasonable. In my case, for the second time I took time off, I didn’t have spousal support too, so spousal buy in is important too or else the whole family set up will collapse.
Happy Women’s Day.
Susie